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-An A to Z guide to parenting.
@tigersgoroooar: Not to brag, but I just bought Eggland's best eggs from the grocery store. Their BEST eggs. I got them.
@FU_TangClan: her: I’m a cat person
me: I’m more of a dog pers-
her: [starts licking hind leg]
me: oooOoo k
@SCbchbum: When I reached the border patrol checkpoint, I raised my kale smoothie & the officer immediately waved me through.
Sloth Man: I'll use my powers to make the criminals fall asleep.
*Runs to bank*
*Reaches bank 18 hrs later*
SM: How'd they escape?
@ClichedOut: Her: U ready for the next Star Wars?
Me: *sweating* Did we win the last one?