Eating cheese right off the block then realizing you’ve eaten too much so you eat a bunch of chips makes it like nachos, right?
no my tattoos do not have any meaning i am simply a child putting permanent stickers all over myself<3 stop asking pls
You Might Also Like
My mind says “no” but my heart says “yes”, all my vital organs speak English, it’s very confusing and loud
ME: All my life I’ve been judged. Quit doing drugs! Don’t sleep around!
JUDGE: We have the murder weapon.
ME: Again, with the judging.
Principal: about your son…
Dad: our son?
Mom: is he ok??
Principal: yes, yes. but you see, we’ve found that your son is cool. very cool. far too cool to have parents like you. [hits the intercom] Betty, please bring them in.
[Betty enters with cooler parents]
[first day as a midwife]
ME: Keep pushing! I can see the head!
NURSE: You’re at the wrong end.
I had my appendix taken out as a child. They said it was useless, but based on my life since then, I’m guessing it controls motivation.
I hate when someone is on the machine right next to me at the gym and I feel pressured to share these cheese fries.
My life is like a beautiful piece of furniture from IKEA. Once I figure out how to put it all together, I may get to actually enjoy it.
(any scene in a movie in which more than one person appears)
DAD: You couldn’t do that now. Coronavirus.
My pappy died in the sea. Not even his old chum could save him. In fact, that’s exactly what brought the sharks in the first place