What if the first tire-swing was left there as a warning to other tires?
No one said life would be easy, but a heads-up on the number of idiots out there would’ve been nice.
You Might Also Like
Whoever named the White House and the Pentagon also probably named oranges.
Elba: Bond. James Bond.
Villain: yeah but where are you ACTUALLY from though?
[texting old friend I only hung out with cuz they had a trampoline] do u still got that trampoline
ME: What’d you want for dinner?
MY GOTHIC GF: I pray that the lord of darkness will claim my body & soul before sunset.
ME: Chinese it is.
[2 Years into Cosmetology School]
Me:[applying perfect contours] When are we gonna start learning about space?
If movies have taught me anything it’s that when someone says, “sir, you can’t be in here,” if you retort with, “no no, it’s ok,” it totally becomes ok.
Last night,my friend changed all my contacts in my phone.I’ve been texted by Batman Donatello,Hermione Granger.I have no idea who they are.
Got to check out Godzilla Vs. Kong early and if you’re a fan of buildings I’ve got some bad news for you.
him: what are u wearing
me: I AM WREATHED IN VOID, AN EMPTINESS WHICH ADMITS NO LIGHT OR LIFE & SIGNALS THE END OF ALL THINGS
him: thats hot