@richkidelii: Nobody decline a call faster then a 3 year old watching YouTube
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@UncleDuke1969: Me: What are my choices again? Pollster: Donald Trump… Me: Or? Pollster: Puppymonkeybaby. Me: … Pollster: Well? Me: I’m thinking.
@causticbob: I went to a fortune teller and he told me a lot of money was coming my way. I walked out really excited, then I got hit by a Securicor van.
@RainbowJohnJ: Superman finally decides, after realizing an entire city of people is duped by a pair of glasses, that Metropolis really isn't worth saving.
@McMcmadmac: My grandpa use to tell us about walking 10 miles to school. I tell my grandchildren about walking across the room to change channels!