Nobody decline a call faster then a 3 year old watching YouTube

You Might Also Like


I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in my life but I never ate candy corn on purpose.


The girl at the table next to me is having a salad. Not as a starter, but as a main course like some kind of rabbit.


Me: All I want is for a man to bring me a rose-

Friend: Well, that’s not asking much.

Me: colored diamond.


[NBA Postgame]
*LeBron wearing his fake glasses*

“Questions? Yes, Lois Lane from Daily Planet”

“Yeah hi. I’ll wait til LeBron comes out”


DOCTOR: oh my god!
HER: what’s wrong?
DOCTOR: Ok don’t panic but it looks as though you swallowed a baby


Sometimes I put my phone down and do things with two hands, like in the olden days.


[me yelling to the cameraman from cops as I get taken away] edit the part out where I tried to do a flip