Grandma confused about Tide Pods “kids these days eating those podcasts”….
Not having a date on Valentine’s Day doesn’t really worry me…
It’s those 364 other date-less days that are causing me a bit of concern.
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Guys, freedom of speech doesn’t mean you can spell things any way you want to.
Getting a text from someone when I’m trying to tweet is the emotional equivalent to walking into a spider web.
Life doesn’t do much to prepare you for when a coworker gets bangs and asks what you think of her hair.
[Don’t let hot barrista know I’m a goose]
“Can I get you a coffee?”
Just a honk chonklate for me
CHOCOLATE, a hot chocolate plz.
Me:”If you ever give me another gift with ‘some assembly required’, you’re dead to us.”
6:*writing thank you card* But, um..
Me: Write it!
The scariest thing about the Cold War was the threat of getting stuck inside a bunker with your spouse.
still my fav achewood
*pinching bridge of my nose*
Kid, the sky is blue because it’s made of dead Smurfs, okay? Believe me, I don’t like it either.
Yes, it might be the wrong word but at least it is spelled correctly