@WheelTod: Not saying dogs are better than kids in every aspect; but good luck finding a kid willing to lick up his own vomit.
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@WittySassBasket: I held up a fist for a CW to bump and she kissed my ring. I am now drunk on power and no one is allowed to make eye contact.
@SondraDeeMe: WARDEN: Any final words before you're hung? ME: How many of these have you done? It's hanged, you idiot. WARDEN: *just shoots me*
@myonlymizztake: Him: I'm sorry, can we start over? Me: great idea! You introduce yourself, and this time I'll keep walking.