I doubt my inferiority complex is as good as everyone else’s
Not to brag but I’ve never met a chicken wing I didn’t like.
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Her: Are you okay?
Me: Yea, Great! This isn’t even my blood!
As your goth personal trainer, I urge you to stay in shape so that you can outrun your haunted past.
Satan: “I’m gonna put letters in mathematics. Lol!”
God: “I’m gonna make them all kill each other because of me.”
Your neck. There’s an axe for that.
You’d give your life for me? Your life sucks what else you got?
I hate being the walking dead.
I wish I could be the driving dead.
Even the bus riding dead would do.
you can tell the new mad max movie takes place in a lawless post apocalyptic hellscape because not one person used their blinker
trainer: Why are you here?
everyone else: To get fit!
me [with a mouthful of gummy bears] Mmfff
[carrying sleeping cat out of burning house]
seriously, what purpose do you serve