Whenever I lose a follower I assume they died and the family had the account removed, because hello! I’m amazing!!
Not to brag, but my car now gets 3 months per gallon.
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You know when you do Secret Santa and you give the person a gift card, glove and scarf set in handmade gift bag you sewed yourself and you get a stained coffee mug with Halloween candy in it?
Jaws gets a 1/10 for me because it doesn’t end with a black screen reading “fin”
I am the boss of me. And my wife is my boss’s boss.
At what age do you say never again and actually mean it.
*lights scented candle*
*accidentally burns down house*
*everyone agreed that it smelled amazing*
Watched all Star Wars movies back to back with my friend.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
People with infectious laughs make me want to be a better laugher.
My family’s dull. All through his teens my brother had his head buried in a book before dad exhumed it & reattached to the rest of his body.
Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question.