If Watergate happened today it would be called Watergategate.
Note to self: Don’t get so drunk and try to ride the zoo animals, no matter how friendly they are.
You Might Also Like
*makes shocking deathbed confession to friends and family
In some societies it’s considered rude to put post-it notes on people’s heads in the doctor’s surgery with your guess what’s wrong with them
God will never give you more than you can handle, unless you were born in the wrong place or don’t have money. That makes God super mad.
As my friend confessed, “My teenage daughter never even talks to me,” I struggled to conceal my jealousy.
FLORIDA MAN SUFFOCATED TO DEATH AFTER HAVING SEX WITH PET ANACONDA
1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
Pal: wanna impress your wife? Girls love a guy that shaves downstairs
Wife: David! Why is there hair all over the coffee table!?
Coming home from costume party dressed as a priest, and pulled over by Police.
Cop..You been drinking?
Cop..I smell wine.
Me..Oh my God, He’s done it again!!!!!
When speaking to your wife, always end with, “but i could be wrong,” this way when she says you’re wrong, you’ll be right for a change.