@_steamy_mac: Nothing like going out to a crowded place to remind yourself why you never ever go to crowded places and also a lot of people smell bad and WHY ARE YOU STANDING SO CLOSE THERE IS NO NEED FOR YOU TO BE TOUCHING ME THIS LINE ISN’T GONNA MOVE FASTER IF YOU’RE PRESSED AGAINST ME!!!
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@TheToddWilliams: Young MacDonald had a farm, Heavy GMO. The corn's pest-free but side effects, Are more or less unknown.
@aveuaskew: "You always overreact and make things dramatic. It's really annoying." *raises megaphone to lips* How so?
@DadandBuried: You'll never know how creative you really are until you need to start lying to your kids.
@PencilWalrus: A flamingo in the streets and a lion in the sheets and a kangaroo at Target and I think Carl forgot to lock up the zoo last night.