@junejuly12

Nothing like sitting on a chair at your kid’s school to inspire you to never eat cookies again.

You Might Also Like

@humanaaron

Gandalf: A wizard is never late, nor is he early; he arrives precisely when he means to.

Mrs Gandalf: *glares into the camera*

@SortaBad

“Mind control agents in chem trails sounds crazy? That’s EXACTLY what the govt wants”

Bride: I shouldn’t have let you write your own vows

@causticbob

My local radio station is asking people to send in funny photographs taken when you were pissed.

So I’ve sent in my wedding album.

@alyssalimp

Me yesterday: I’m gonna get so much done during this quarantine

Me today: 2pm time for bed

@GorillaNipples1

*invents time machine*

*has an opportunity to right a wrong*

*makes it wronger*

@ImaFlyontheWall

Drunk me used to set a “Mystery Alarm” on my phone to pop up and confuse daytime sober me

@serialstealer

I like my men how I like my cheesecake, rich and straight to my behind.

@AngryRaccoon2

“Kids! Come say goodbye to your father!”

-Me, when my husband has a cold.