@WineMummy: Nothing says you're over your ex like showing up at his wedding with a bride and groom voodoo doll.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GreenishDuck: Don't let the door hit you on the way out! *guy looks back and laughs, the door punches him in the back of the head*
@RuthePhoenix: Ever miss somebody so much that you wonder why you became a sniper in the first place?
@3sunzzz: H: What's for breakfast? M: I'm having potatoes and orange juice. *sips juice* H: Great, when are you making potatoes? M: They're in my orange juice.
@stephenjmolloy: Me: Alexa, tell me a fact to tell my date to break an awkward silence. Alexa: When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red. Me: When hippos- Date: Yeah, I heard...