Liquidity is the only difference between soup, stew and a casserole. There, I said it.
*notices my tinder match has “catholic” in their bio*
me: so how long have u been addicted to cats
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Look, if I offer you a bite of my calamari, you’re bound to offer me a bite of your food. Legally, it’s known as Squid Pro Quo.
Nicholson: You want answers?!
Cruise: I want the truth!!
Nicholson: YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Cruise: mmk… how bout a little hint?
H: What is that you’re having for lunch?
Me: fruit salad
H: That’s funny, it looks like a sangria.
Me: huh, weird *sips fruit salad*
Me: I like your Prince tattoo.
“It’s my mother.”
Me: Your mother is Prince?
Ian: “I’d like to report my guide dog missing.”
Cop: “Right. When did you last see him?”
Ian: “I’ve never seen him.”
Dear Edward, maybe the reason you can’t read Bella’s mind is because there’s nothing in her head. Sincerely, Logic.
HER: My favorite movie is Zoolander, how bout u?
ME: OMG SAME
HER: What part’s ur fave?
ME: Um [sweating] when he lands a zoo
I practice with my nunchucks in the driveway to prevent intruders.
skippin the intro of a game and then realizin you have no idea what the objectives are just walking round aimlessly hoping something pops up