@SamClark_23: Now I understand why girls get so mad when you tell them to calm down because today I was fighting with a coworker and my Apple watch told me “take a minute to breathe” and on God I almost threw that thing into the Mediterranean.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Book_Krazy: *Takes off clothes *Enters meeting room naked *Coworkers gasp in horror *Slowly backs out of room [whispers] "you said debriefing"
@truegritrumble: WIFE:Did you get the spaghetti? ME:Better. WIFE:Better? ME:Look at this crazy, wild spaghetti I found outside! *hands just full of snakes*
@notsoevilrick: My fiancee knows that I would kill for her, and it's really annoying that she hasn't asked me to yet.