@McGrumpenstein: Nut allergies are proof that trees are taking their revenge after generations of us stealing their young.
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@WheelTod: Did you know if you weigh yourself, then take a dump, then weigh the dump & weigh yourself again, you'll be banned from Walgreens for life?
@LindseyEllison2: If I ever go to prison I will immediately go up to the biggest person and tickle them.
@Mom_Overboard: They should make a sister store to "Forever 21" called "So Now You're 35" where you can buy sensible pants and soft sweaters & take naps.
@Swishergirl24: Romeo and Juliet is my favorite story about idiot teenagers who don't know the difference between sleeping and dead