Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 7
They go after the guy who has killed 1000s of turtles
The Ninja Turtles corner him
Mario jumps on them all
Objects in the mirror may appear like you’ve been depressed and have eaten a lot the last 3 years.
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u guys do know that when u say “frig” we ALL know what you mean? At this point u might as well just say “frog pig” its not even that bad
Jigsaw: If you want to leave you’re gonna need to…
Me, psyched about missing work: Nah, I’m good here.
Judge: You’re on trial for excessive use of astronomy puns. How do you plead?
Defendant: *leans in until lips are on mic* No comet.
Ate shrooms & I feel nothing. Just an awful taste in my mouth. Also the dealer overcharged me. Also he’s a centaur with spiders for lips
I just ate dinner. At 4pm. I am SO prepared for my 74th birthday
[Weather Channel Secret Memo]
To technical crews:
If blizzard doesn’t reach predicted intensity, shoot all exteriors through snow-globes.
Someone cut my 6-year-old’s hair
She says she didn’t do it
Be on the lookout for a mysterious hair-cutting bandit who looks just like her