@wolfpupy: occult darling Dracula needs to get a grip. having his own dirt shipped in to sleep on, what a piece of shit. me, i'll sleep on any dirt
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@joejwest: [judging dog show] DOG: [barks] ME: [ticks clipboard] This one's working fine AUDIENCE MEMBER: You have misunderstood what's required of you
@gitson_shiggles: Hug your kids as often as possible. They can't break your shit when you've got them in a full body lock
@Tommytoughstuff: [Post fight interview w/ boxer Joey "poor choice of words" Stevens] Joey: "I just couldn't get that guy to go down on me."