@_blotty

[ocean’s 11 music]
So here’s the plan,we iron me flat, then slide me into an ATM via the card slot. Once inside, it’s a cash playground boys

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@ShaunNaNaD

I’m pretty sure I have all of those countless hours spent playing Tetris to thank for my mad dishwasher loading skills.

@GrantTanaka

I just found out that his full name is actually Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.

@theshantilly

NOBODY MOVE I JUST LOST A FOLLOWER AND HE IS PROBABLY ALONE AND FRIGHTENED

@sug_knight

Hot people do not eat as many egg sandwiches as I do and I’ve made my peace with that

@NatetheEnigma

I’m sorry I jumped on you, from a distance you looked like a conclusion.

@Sanbel11

I wasn’t going to follow you but that bible verse in your bio totally changed my mind.

@imteddybless

if ur dad didn’t want to be more than friends then why did he get me that delicious glass of water

@momsense_ensues

Curious, how many years do you keep a mismatched sock before you can get rid of it? Is it like taxes? 7years?

@seanoconnz

THIS IS MY LOCKER ROOM TALK

GUY: Hey, do you know if they supply towels here?
ME: Please don’t look at me, my shirt is off.