@heybuddy_comic
date: im really into old movies
me: [nodding] shrek came out 19 years ago
@mister_blank
odysseus: we now set out on our odyssey.
sailor: [raising hand] what’s an odyssey?
odysseus: a long journey named after the only survivor.
sailor: oh ok wait what.
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@heybuddy_comic
@Lovestained555
*amasses epic army of stoners but we do nothing because epic army of stoners*
@weinerdog4life
Fun Date Idea: Find a balloon, forget about the date, you have a balloon now.
@KaptainKoRnie
Since the invention of the smart phone, how many times have you clicked a desktop icon once and waited for a response.
Ok, just me?
@1MeLrO
I don’t get why they put those stickers on fruit and vegetables
They taste like shit
@jake_lach
I understand the face situation but you don’t have to be ugly on the inside too
@eddiesteadyno
Thank you for clarifying that you’d bite me with your teeth, my mind was running wild with all the possible things you could bite me with.
@IHLaking
I 100% subscribe to this philosophy
@vikkaroni
Him: what does a polar bear weigh?
Me: I don’t know
Him: enough to break the ice, my name’s John.
Me: so’s mine.
@myonlymizztake
Did you guys know you get a full body massage while being embalmed? I can’t wait.