This day in history. 2004. Ken announced that he had broken things off with Barbie but not to avoid another outrageously extravagant Valentine’s Day no not at all.
Of course Jesus saves. He’s Jewish.
You Might Also Like
So many haunted “mansions.” Sad how this country is killing the middle class ghost.
Necrophiliacs love going out on expiration dates.
*opens dating site account* prepare to be dated you pieces of shit
I ripped my pants and had to sew them back up.
Britches love stitches.
– much ado about nothing
– 2 much 2 nothing
– much ado 3: toyko drift
– much nothing
– much 5
– much ado 6
– nothing 7
I’m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
Kid: My sandwich has too much peanut butter on it.
Me: *makes new sandwich*
Kid: This one has too little.
Me: *makes one just right*
Kid: I don’t like peanut butter anymore.
ME: Detectives on tv always take people to diners to ask them questions.
ME: Maybe a few pancakes would jog my memory.
I just got off the phone with God. He’s pretty bummed out. Poor guy has a huge crush on an atheist, but she doesn’t even know he exists.