@slaughthie: "Oh hey there, didn't recognize you with your cap on," I say flirtatiously to my toothpaste.
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@filthyson: How to make-out - 1. Hold her close 2. Kiss passionately 3. Don't mention the budget deficit or your father
@PleaseBeGneiss: [learning to drive stick] Dad: hands at 10 and 2 Me: ok Dad: now go ahead and shift Me: *sweating* Dad: shift Me: *slowly moves hand* Dad: 10 AND 2 ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US