You know that pain which starts at your hip, runs down your leg, out the front door,and goes across the street to the bus stop… I’ve that.
Oh really?! Because I see nothing in the gym membership rules that says I CAN’T just lie on the floor and watch tv all day!!
You Might Also Like
Snow white: it’s really starting to get dark in the forest & I’m gettting scared!
Huntsman: How do you think I feel! I’ve gotta find my way back on my own.
Me: wow this scratch n sniff sticker smells really good
Him: that’s my bandaid
A chihuahua is just a barking cat.
“No, no. No! NO!” – guy who invented black ski masks after people started using them for robbing
Shouldn’t Godzilla be fighting Satanzilla?
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with “What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?”
He told me he wants my heart
“Sharon I’m pretty sure he’s a serial killer”
*later on with guy*
Wow you’re really into bondage huh?
Children are our future. Clean burning. Renewable. Children.
[Million dollar idea] : Spaghetti Sauce colored Tupperware.