@MsFoxIfUrNasty

“Oh, spare me,” I say, pulling another clone out of the cryogenic freezer.

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@thatUPSdude

Sometimes It’s nice just to sit with the person you love.

But then it has to get all awkward and her husband is all “Why you at our table?”

@ceejoyner

PENSIVE MAN: the most terrifying enemy we face is the fear within
PERSON WHO NARROWLY SURVIVED A GRIZZLY ATTACK: or a bear

@jonnysun

“can we take the magic schoolbus”
no. today is reading day
“please”
sit down
“please ms frizz”
u’ve gone to space but u dont kno how to read

@

a:2:{i:0;a:5:{s:4:”user”;s:13:”SeanINCypress”;s:5:”image”;s:90:”http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/3585747127/351e3f95d36ba496cf8af16930da7d2f_bigger.jpeg”;s:6:”id_str”;s:18:”196342135564410882″;s:7:”retweet”;s:3:”134″;s:5:”tweet”;s:136:”Being a doctor was awesome a thousand years ago. Back ache? Drill a hole in your head, let the demon out. Headache? Drill. Fever? Drill.”;}s:7:”retweet”;i:0;}

@BonaFideIntent

Watching a Kristin Stewart movie. She’s being CHASED by ppl who want her DEAD. The CHEESE STICK I’m holding has a more frightened expression

@hardicecrm

Stray dog: digs through garbage all day to find one piece of food to survive.

My dog: eats one piece of new kibble and vomits because it’s not his favorite brand. Goes on a hunger strike.

@AGreaterMonster

If cupcakes could talk, boy, there sure would be a lot of screaming in my house.