@Divergentmama: "Oh sweetie, it's AMAZING! I'm going to save your artwork forever*!"
*until you go to sleep and I can bury it in the garbage so you won't find it.
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@DontTouchMyWine: Standing in the liquor store, trying to decide if tonight's dose of self-loathing and regret should have a screw-top or a cork.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: (talking to anyone) Largest and darkest hair in my nose: I WANT TO SAY HI TOO!
@TheTweetOfGod: Existing is a pretty remarkable achievement.
@JB4Realz: Taught my grandmother that "Jabroni" means "fine young man" and it's made our time out in public way more interesting.
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