my friend, ted: i hear you’re pretty competitive
me: yeah i guess so
my enemy, ted: want to play a game
Oh you can bench 50 kilograms? I literally don’t know if that’s 100 pounds or a billion.
You Might Also Like
Well well well…if it isn’t the clothes I left in dryer last Sunday.
Before YouTube, people had to travel to music video shoots to argue about Hitler
I walked past a lady in her car with convertible down. She locked the door out of fear. So I smacked her in the back of the head & ran way
This baby is terrible at dodgeball.
My son approaches even small chores with the enthusiasm of a POW forced to build a railway bridge over the river Kwai.
Today I learned that while playing vintage Mario Bros, screaming “GO DOWN” when you can’t get Mario to go in the pipe leads to some awkward questions when your parents overhear you.
Snake: eat that apple
S:lol u scared
S: whoa I didnt thnk u would do it lol sick now eat that poop
SUPER-VILLAIN: Join me! Together we would be unstoppable!
SUPER-VILLAIN: What’s that now?
HERO: I’m in
SUPER-VILLAIN: Oh. I wasn’t really prepared for you to accept.
HERO: My therapist said to try new things
SUPER-VILLAIN: This is awkward
HERO: I’ll get my stuff
Wife: You’re going to be a great Dad one day
Me: And you’ll make a great Mom one day too
Son: *From the basement* WHEN