@kumailn: "Oh you like this cake? (*Tosses cake out the window*) Oops." - Game of Thrones
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@daemonic3: [watching avengers endgame when Thanos first appears on screen] me: [whispers to girlfriend] that's Thermos
@Julian_Deane: With all the ways to contact me on social media these days the police still smash through my door unannounced again?
@moose_chocolate: Fox has cancelled American Idol. From Now on, if I want to listen to bad music, I'll have to listen to Pitbull just like everyone else.