@kumailn: "Oh you like this cake? (*Tosses cake out the window*) Oops." - Game of Thrones
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@StellaRtwot: Learning how to break wooden boards in karate is important in case you ever get in a fight with a house.
@wendchymes: If hackers really wanted to scare us they would post all of our deleted selfies instead of stealing our financial info
@squirrel74wkgn: Can you at least smile if you're gonna be in the background of my selfie, Doc? (takes off rubber glove) "You can pull up your pants now."
@SaltyCorpse: I have a new phone charger but I also have a teenage daughter which means I somehow have an old charger and she has a new one.