@crunkdumpster

Ok so for next Halloween ill be mozart.
“I’ll be beethoven!”
Yeah okay, calm down sally. So Mr. Terminator who will you be?

“I’LL BE BACH.”

Ok so for next Halloween ill be mozart.
“I’ll be beethoven!”
Yeah okay, calm down sally. So Mr. Terminator who will you be?

“I’LL BE BACH.”

- @crunkdumpster

You Might Also Like

@dulcetry

Hot shingles in your area are looking to give your dermatomes a painfully good time!

@tastefactory

[turns to date during movie where bank robbers laugh & toss money around motel room] They won’t be laughing when it’s time to pick it all up

@Henry_3000

Me: I’m nervous about dinner with your parents.
Wife: Why?
Me: I never know what to say.
Wife: Just be yourself. Say whatever is in your heart.
Me at dinner table: I hate all of you.

@markleggett

Companies want “rockstar” employees, as rockstars are known for punctuality, even-tempers, and a desire to work in a corporate environment.

@Marmel

Martin Shkreli in jail: “Can I have an aspirin?”
Jail: “Yes. That will be $197,000.”

@GingerHotDish

Went a little too hard on leg day at the gym and the next day I couldn’t walk.

Naturally, I lied and told my friends that I met someone…

@MartaEffing

My date cancelled; said he had an emergency. I just saw him at the
market buying cereal and I thought,
‘I agree with his priorities.’

@KenJennings

Nice job, whoever chose the word “monosyllabic” for that.