my boss said “why is your shirt untucked” and I said “bc my pants are tucked into my shirt” and now i’m the sales manager
OMG I’M SO OLD AND OUT OF TOUCH WITH POP MUSIC WHAT SONG DOES BREXIT SING
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I dressed as a chimp for 4 years to win a woman’s heart. Eventually I realized that disguising myself was a breech of trust and revealing myself would be a betrayal. I stayed a chimp 3 more years, contributing to important data she was collecting. I realize now I sullied that too
“All black people are Aiwa, and all jews are Technics.” “Those are just stereo types.”
Girl brain: What did he mean? Is he in love with me? I need to analyze this for hours with my gfs
Guy brain: I’d do her”;}s:7:”retweet”;i:0;}
I’m not gonna be able to come out tonight I already sat down
I put the ‘extra vag’ in extravaganza
GIRL: would you like to go out for dinner sometime?
ME:*nervously looks around*
MY MUM: *appearing from nearby bush* he only eats lunchables
Hell hath no fury like an old lady scolding you for going in the wrong direction down a one-way aisle at the grocery store.
Cats being cats.
HR: So, where do you think you went wrong?
GUY WHO LET THE BIG WOOD HORSE INTO TROY: