I don’t envy mama birds for how they have to feed their babies, but the pushing them out of the nest part sounds fun.
On Facebook, someone posted that they have 90 days of pregnancy left. The 1st commenter said ‘when are you due?’ This is why we are here…
You Might Also Like
Some lady at Olive Garden died, so we’re rummaging through her stuff. Just like a real family.
“Sexy role play.. I’ll be a dentist.”
“I’m here for my appointment”
“Did you book in with Karen first?”
“Please leave, I’m very busy.”
Probably the hardest part about being God is deciding between two equally terrible youth soccer teams that have just prayed to win.
If you wondered if I was on the naughty list this year, I should probably tell you that the best gift I got was a packing peanut.
It’s so cold that the local flasher was caught *describing* himself
when i was a kid, i thought getting arrested for shoplifting meant getting in trouble for trying to carry a store like popeye or something
you either don’t eat cereal for months or you eat 3 bowls in one night there is no in between
[Later, Snake sees a Lizard]
Snake (to God): DUDE! Seriously??
*God and Lizard high-five, adding insult to injury*
Why there can’t be an Indian Breaking Bad.