BOSS: in my office, we need to have a chat
ME: ok *sits down and crosses legs*
BOSS: why did you just cross my legs?
[on first date]
Let me get that for you.
*holds door open*
“May I help you, sir?”
Yes, my lady would like your finest soft taco supreme…
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GRANDMA: we were very lucky, we escaped France thru Great Britain
ME: she didn’t go to camp
Him: What the hell is a palindrome?
Me: No, it’s not.