@TeaAndCopy: On this very day 6 years ago, I asked my best friend to marry me. My wife was furious. Gary was a little taken aback too.
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@JeremyKCMO: I'm opening a bar called The Office. You're welcome guys. "Be home soon sweetie, I'm at The Office"
@neledmax: My kid asked me what my childhood was like so I took the batteries out of the remote and had him change channels by hand the rest of night.
@daemonic3: [buying groceries] me: do you think Jeff Bezos' divorce will impact this place at all? Whole Foods clerk: nah probably not [1 year later] Half Foods clerk: ok so I was wrong