For Easter, I will hide pieces of IKEA furniture all over the house and then have my kid assemble it. If she succeeds, she gets chocolate.
[one month later]
Sorry, just got your text. Do you still want to break up?
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Renaissance Festivals are back and improved with an actual plague for more authenticity.
I’m only a vegetarian so people won’t invite me anywhere
Parenting is all about multitasking. Like trying to brush your teeth while you’re rock climbing.
My high school son works at a grocery store and I went through his checkout line with wine. He called a manager for approval.
M: Did you proof her?
S: She’s my mom.
M: OK but she may not be 21.
S: That’s biologically impossible.
M: No it’s not.
*My son is 16.
We cut our bangs at dawn.
A lot of parenting involves doing really nice things for your kids, and your kids making you regret that decision instantly.
I’ve never had a problem stepping up to the plate.
We’re talking about food, right?