@kyry5: One time a guy left a full glass of sangria behind on a first date and I pretended I forgot my sunglasses so I could run back and chug it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Rschooley: How dare Beyonce bring symbols of past racial strife into popular music performance!!
@byrdie_num_num: Few people have the balls to admit when they're wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls.
@LurkAtHomeMom: 3yo: Do you want to play princesses with me? Me: Of course! 3yo: Ok, I’ll be Ariel. Who do you want to be? Me: Sleeping Beauty. 3yo: How come you always pick her? Me: 3yo: Me: *already asleep on the couch*
@Parkerlawyer: Waiting on this storm is like waiting on your mom to get home when you're in trouble. You know she's pissed, you just don't know HOW pissed