@_troyjohnson: Ugly Duckling is my favorite story that teaches kids it's okay to look weird for a while as long as u get ur act together and become hot.

@HuffPostComedy: Honest wine recommendations are exactly what you need

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@theshantilly: Husband: Quick. What's this song? Me: Awful.

@WistfulBlue: When someone loves you a lot they will buy you a burrito even when you're not hungry so you can get fat and no one else will love you.