@mrsjohngoodman: One time my teacher was telling a story about war and the girl in front of me slowly opened her laptop and liked Downy on Facebook.
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@pleatedjeans: idea: business cards that just say NO Sir can I have 5 mins of ur [card] Girl can I get ur number [card] BRO DID U STEAL MY NO CARDS [card]
@Josievorenkamp: When someone starts a Facebook post with "there are no words..." You better get prepared because you're about to read a lot of words.
@TheProvenFacts: The average human body contains enough human bones to make up an entire human skeleton.
@lisaxy424: Me: time for bed Brain: yeah I'm tired too M: really? wow we may actually get some slee- B: hey do you think anyone's died in this house?