@Reverend_Scott: only 11 steps left
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@GrillinChillin9: Smiles from ear to ear. Wife: what are you smiling about? Our dog just took a giant dump in our neighbors yard Wife: God I love that dog.
@mjkspeaks: ME: [waking up from nap] HER: *looking angry* when i said i wanted to sleep with you this isn’t what i meant
@kcmoore51: Me: How was the party last night? 17: It was fun. The cops came. Me: What??? 17: Nah, it's cool. We got away. Me: That's my girl.