@PortRooster

OOO!

XOX.

XXX!!

– Reviews for “TicTacToe, The Movie”

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@Michael1979

Home Alone (1990)

A know-it-all, suburban elitist cruelly humiliates two economically anxious men, seeking to improve their lives

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A 3 year old at my son’s preschool asked me who’s grandma I am, so yes I’m getting botox Monday.

@MrJeberling

I got a shopping cart today with 4 working wheels, it was full of lingerie models and self confidence and I was dreaming

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Pizza: *comes out of oven at 450 degrees*

My brain: I bet this time I can immediately put some in my mouth without any repercussions

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Sally: I Love You Mommy!

Me: Melts into a puddle.

Sally(5 minutes later to her breakfast): I Love You Waffles.

Me: Oh. ??

@EffdotEss

Gary born

Gary child

Gary teenager

Gary middle-aged

Gary Oldman

@jellybnbonanza

When you’re 8 and show up in an ugly rubber witch mask to trick or treat with your friends and they’re all dressed up as pretty princesses.

That’s me in a nutshell.

@OctopusCavemann

Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Because free will is an illusion and both of us followed paths that lead us to this very moment

Cop: How much have you had to drink?

Me: The precise amount I was predestined to