“Try to score a goal. Don’t use your hands. See you afterwards.” – Soccer coaches
*Open up, police!!*
“NO YOU’RE GONNA YELL AT ME.”
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Everything beeps and blinks.
How do I make everything stop beeping and blinking?
apparently this year was written by stephen king
My eyesight is good, but my strongest sense is non.
Ha, I told my brother that carbon had seven protons and he believed me. He was mean to me when we were kids.
*drags a cigarette*
“have you ever”
*drinks some scotch*
“slept with a guy”
*sucks a lollipop*
“with three arms?”
M: I just can’t find the words.
H: She’s kidding, give her a minute.
you’ve seen bao and you’ve seen pizza, but you might have not seen 包砸 #baozza
I want this election to be over so badly you’d think it was a friend’s play.