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@kcmoore51: *opens new donut shop called "The Gym"*
@iLiveSilent: In Ancient Days, Newscasters Kept You Updated On The Latest News Happening Flat The World.
@BFNotAllowed: My boyfriend isn't allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.
@Samzen_: World War III will happen when Jason Statham kidnaps Liam Neeson's daughter.
@dyldonot: [first date]
me: [don't let her know you're a microwave]
her: my food is a bit cold
me: [my head starts slowly rotating]
@ThaJawn: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me and 20 koalas: *blank stare