If “six degrees” is true, somebody tell somebody to tell somebody to tell somebody to tell somebody to tell Scarlett Johansson I said “Hi.”
Operator: 911 what’s your emergency?
Me: PEOPLE ARE TAGGING ME IN PICTURES ON FACEBOOK AND I’M NOT EVEN IN THEM!
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Me, at 20: I’d really like kids one day!
Me: at 40 with 3 kids: I’ve changed my mind
[the ’4 Horsemen Of The Apocalypse’ descending from heaven]
me: *clapping excitedly* ooooh, horseys’!!!
I’m so hungry I could eat a horse! But I’m on a diet so…
Do you have diet horse?
Those “free hugs” people sure do get upset when you ask them what $20 will get you.
When life hands you donkeys, move to a mountainous region.
you play enough angry birds and you realize: the angry bird is you.
Hoping all my fellow North Carolinians are staying safe. Except my 7th grade boyfriend. I hope that dude ends up in China.
My 10 year old son just told me I look nice today so I’m trying to figure out what he broke and where he hid it.