A coven of witches with grandkids who call themselves the PentaGrans.
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spiderman: bitten by spider
green hornet: bitten by green hornet
gambit: bitten by a gam
magneto: bitten by magnetic toe
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There’s no easy way to steal a watermelon.
Was decorating the front yard last night and one of the neighborhood kids tried to deflate me.
“What would Jesus do?” is an unfair question. He had superpowers. Your lifeboat is sinking. WWJD? Well, he’d get out and walk to shore. See?
My daughter was pretty pissed that someone called the cops, ending her party.
Whatever, I needed some sleep.
This gym has a very strict rule no denim jeans or jorts. But if you’re 300 lbs of muscle & attitude, apparently it’s merely a suggestion.
Man Hoping People Notice How Many Folding Chairs He’s Carrying At Once
observational humor is about to get weird. like hey guys you know how when you go into my kitchen specifically
How do you tell someone that they’re not smart enough to manipulate you, without hurting their feelings?
Cats have tails so you can swing them around. Duh.