@ChickGamerJenna

Osama Bin Laden should have hid in MySpace

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@TySmithdrums

I bought a spray bottle to break my girlfriend of looking at her phone when I’m speaking. I hide it after use so she doesn’t know who did it

@TheOneTrueDisco

On 3. Ready? One. Two. Three.

*Both show rock

Again!

*Both show rock

Again!

*Both show rock

Again!

Caveman: This game is stupid.

@TheBoydP

Protip: Never ask an accountant “What have I got to lose?”

@Darlainky

I keep the peace. As a hoarder, I keep pretty much everything.

@ThugRaccoons

Me: I guess I’ll take four dollars

Wendy’s Drive thru cashier: That’s not how the dollar menu works

@hippieswordfish

CAVEMAN 1: i make this. it called fire

CAVEMAN 2: how u do that?!

CAVEMAN 1: um *thinking about how he was making 2 sticks have sex* magic

@therepoguy

Pretty sure my refrigerator is having sex with itself from all the noises its making.

@gilbertjasono

TYRION: People love stories. And no one has a better story than Bran

ARYA, WHO LEARNED SHAPE-SHIFTING AND MURDERED THE INVINCIBLE ICE KING OF DEATH: Bran has what now