“Did u see the weather forecast?”
“No. I refuse to be sucked in by Big Weather.”
“Where are you? Its so noisy.”
“IN A TORNADO.”
“shh its working”
ＡＦＴＥＲ… ＴＨＩＳ… ＡＤ…
“dude why didnt u pay for this ouija board??!”
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“You know what would make a good gift for this 3yr old? A harmonica.” – people without kids
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“What do you like to do in your free time?”
“Oh that’s cool. When’s the last time you played?”
8 years ago.
Teenager: *eats three corn dogs and a row of Chips Ahoy* mom what’s for dinner
Me: Do you like my new negligé?
Him: Are you wearing bubble wrap?
Me: You said put something on that would keep you occupied for hours.
when interviewing a person for a dog walking position, you must make absolutely certain that given the chance, the applicant won’t eat a dog