Our government needs REFORM, we need to make it ILLEGAL to put fake pockets on women’s clothing

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Jesus said that he’d get rid of evil people, whereas Norse gods said they’d get rid of frost giants. nnI don’t see many frost giants around.


Sometimes men engage in risky behavior.

Like when they buy a vacuum cleaner for their wife for her birthday present.


[My Funeral]
“He died doing what he loved… saying ‘Cars have to stop for pedestrians,’ as he stepped bravely into the crosswalk.”


ME: 50 Cent has to clone himself to be able to go to the Dollar Store.
DATE: Do you ever listen to yourself


god: i’m gonna make you murdery

cat: sweet

god: but small

cat: what

god: ˢᵒ ˢᵐᵒˡ


Oh my god y’all this guy i used to talk to made me a playlist like a year ago called “for syd” and i have had it saved to my spotify library since and i just saw it for the first time in months and it’s called “for bailey”


my mom treats her air pods like they’re disposable. buys a few a month. she says they would be easier to not lose if they had….a cord


Fun Fact:

Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters.

Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years.