“we lost your dad during surgery im very sorry”
ha, hes always wandering off
*holds up one finger while on phone*
dad ring me back
pacific rim takes place in 2020 and the kaiju haven’t emerged yet. but seeing how this year is going, we should be prepared.
You Might Also Like
netflix originals are great until you binge watch the whole season in one day and then have to wait a whole decade for the next season
GF: I got M&M’s.
Me: I can’t eat those here.
M: *exasperated sigh* Because it’s too dark to separate them by color.
Wife: What’s your fantasy?
Me: It involves your mom.
W: Your disgusting!
W: What is it?
M: I always wished she’d taught you how to cook.
[plane about to crash]
him: if there’s anything you want to say to me, now’s the time.
me: I watched all of Stranger Things without you. Good news is I can tell you how it ends before we die.
Hold me closer, tiny dancer. Oh my… not that close. I can’t breathe. How are you so strong? LET ME GO TINY DANCER
In star trek not one of those snobs orders a grilled cheese sandwich from the replicator smh
“No. No, I’m sorry, but there must absolutely be a hole right here.”
My dog, after removing the top soil I put in a hole she hadn’t touched in well over a year.
I need to get in shape. If I was murdered right now my chalk outline would be a circle.
7yo: I HAVE A LOOSE TOOTH!
Me: The Tooth Fairy doesn’t want you messing with it until payd…Friday.