@hipchkk: Packing my daughter's prom kit...lip gloss, stun gun, pepper spray, switchblade, and I've uploaded all 5 seasons of Teen Mom to her iPhone.
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@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1963. The Beach Boys released "Be True to Your School" but I wasn't taking orders from 5 guys who shared 1 surfboard.
@pizzajaynow: Me: "Sorry I'm late. Car trouble." Him: "What kind of car trouble?" Me: "It doesn't go 200 miles an hour to compensate for my late start."
@Marlebean: Chaperoned my son's field trip to the farm today. Didn't lose any children! But this fluffy kid has been clucking the whole bus ride home...
@SCbchbum: You’re not allowed to be an eyewitness on the news unless you’re the most confused person at the scene.