@ShellHasDragons: Them: do something every day that scares you
Me: *steps in a hole filled with spiders
Me: *just screaming
@AimeeHelene1: Guy on plane:
*hits me in face with coat*
That was me.
Me: *turns around*
*pokes him in the eye*
*takes his peanuts*
And that...was me.
@ArfMeasures: Wife: omg it's happening
Me: what is?
*the lights go out, wind rattles the windows*
Wife: the baby is coming
Me: what?!
Wife: the baby is coming right now
Me: you're not pregnant!
*door creaks open*
Wife: run
@BunAndLeggings: Toddler: I want toast
Me to husband: I don't want to give her toast
Husband: just tell her she already ate it
Me: you already ate your toast
Toddler: *eyes narrow*
Husband: you said it was yummy
Toddler: *walks away*
@alexlumaga: Wizard of Oz: The good news is I can give you a human heart
Tin Man: Then what's the bad news
Wizard of Oz: We're gonna need an umanhay acrificesay *side nodding at Dorothy*
@3sunzzz: H: I'm going to the store.
M: Why don't you take my truck?
[3 hrs later]
H: Your truck was out of gas, the tires needed air and it needed an oil change.
M: You don't say? Huh, weird. *sips wine*
@fro_vo: MOM LEAF: omg you changed color
KID LEAF: yeah everyone's doing it
MOM LEAF: oh so if all the other leaves fell off the tree would you do it too
@AimeeHelene1: Me: Well...my zipper broke.
HR: You still have to wear pants.
Me: *in my underwear*
Honestly I don't see what the issue is.
*crosses legs*
@PinkCamoTO: Without background music, it's really hard to know which emotions I'm supposed to be faking.