@Lisabug74 I always allow adequate time between workouts to fully recover. I’m going on four years now since my last gym session.
@itsallbollocks acknowledging public holidays in 2020 like well well well, we get to stay EXTRA home today, woo
@Marlebean Kid: “You know in Minecraft when..”
“No.”
@Lhlodder Dads be like, “Picked out the t-shirt I’ll be wearing every weekend for the next 20 years.”
@seancehat customer: have you worked here a long time
me, a waiter: 14 years sir
customer: wow ok what do you recommend
me: finishing college
@smerobin I think it might be my birthday but I deleted my facebook account so I really have no way of knowing.
@Tobi_Is_Fab Nobody:
5-year-old: What happens if you rub butter on a penguin?
@mostly_cheese HER: what’s your sign?
ME: i’m an asparagus
HER: you mean aquarius
ME: omg whatever, you’re such a caprisun
@pilau wife: our beautiful baby girl
me: she’s got your eyes
wife: and your nose
Gimili: and my axe
@dmc1138 Every TV commercial right now: “You’re not just a customer, you’re family.”
All of us: “That’s actually worse.”