scary then: a phone call came from inside the house
scary now: a phone call
You mean the stick figures on the back of your vehicle is not your kill count?
*slowly scrapes mine off*
I always thought people prefer eating chicken with their fingers, and yet, it appears I’m the only one in this elevator with a drumstick in each hand
I’m done travelling by scooter, I moped.
my boss: Your emails are full of spelling errors. Please watch that
me: not today santa
When I was 12, I asked a boy at school out. He said he had a girlfriend, but when they broke up I could be his next girlfriend and tbh I’m still waiting.
Doctor: how do you stay active?
Me: I just jiggle the mouse every 5min
teens are engaging in a deadly new trend called “niceposting” where they say nice things to each other online
This may take awhile
No I will not “clean” my “shower.” My shower can shower when I do, or not at all.