@Gupton68: Never had my own stalker before. Kinda exciting, kinda scary. 2½ stars - might recommend.*
*mostly dependent on them not killing me horribly before I can
@Pork_Chop_Hair: Him: Sometimes I worry about you.
Me: Yeah, I worry about me, too.
@mommajessiec: Husband & me: OMG, he’s doing it!
1yo: *walking*
Husband & me: OMG, he’s doing it!
6yo: *riding two-wheeler*
Husband & me: OMG, he’s doing it!
16yo: *pouring milk into cereal without spilling*
@LittleMissAngr1: Him: Honey, I wrecked the car.
Me: Omg! Did you pick up the food first?
@squirrel74wkgn: [used car lot]
Customer: Do you have any mini vans?
Me: No, we sell cars...but there is a kid’s shoe store near the mall
@FredTaming: shout out to anyone that’s used a tube of super glue more than once
@TuSoonShakur: Based on a survey of yard signs in my neighborhood, it appears “Drive Like Your Kids Live Here” has a slight lead over both the Democratic and Republican candidates.
@vodkanopants: Guy on airplane: What’s your drink of choice?
Me: Vodka
Guy: That’s classy
Me: Not in the amounts I drink