@brynnester

Me: Where there’s a will there’s a way

Will: That’s true

Way: Very true

@MariasWestSide

I usually spend so much time looking for the perfect excuse to cancel plans.. now we all have the same one

@EmmyStar79

Money can’t buy you love, but it can buy you toilet paper.

Which is basically the same thing.

@SladeWentworth

I miss the days when my work wife and my wife wife were different people.

@Smooheed

Me: it’s been a while since I did anything embarrassingly clumsy

Universe: give it time

@sofarrsogud

It’s at times like this we need to be good to ourselves:
Catch up on some sleep.
Eat your favorite foods.
Watch that boxset you’ve been putting off.
Let your kid have a beer for breakfast.
Make your dog some armor.

@Shade510

If by bandwidth you’re talking about the elastic in the underwear around my waist, then yes…I have a lot of bandwidth.

@GroovyTasia

Me: Pikachu, I choose you!

Pikachu: The restraining order says 500 feet