@WeeMissBea

My fridge just screamed “OH JESUS, WHAT NOW?” at me as I opened its door.

@WeeMissBea

My fridge just screamed “OH JESUS, WHAT NOW?” at me as I opened its door.

@xiaraaaaa_

Did the poop challenge on my daughter , 😭🥺🥰 (used peanut butter) but this was her reaction 😂
Gosh I love her sooo much ‼️

@KevinBuffalo

Mon: No gatherings > 500 people.
Tues: No gatherings > 50 people.
Wed: No gatherings > 10 people.
Thur: Stay 6 feet away from people.
Fri: Stay home

Tomorrow: ok, the floor is lava

@FrazzleMyGimp

Priest: tell me your confessions

Me: I said the f word twice this week

Priest: [70% sure I stole his meatball sub from the church fridge] anything else

@santiagomayer_

It’s like the world is being written by a third grader now.

“Then the virus came, and then there was no toilet paper, and then schools closed, and then there was a tsunami!!!”

@MittenDAmour

A neighbour is blowing bubbles from their garden. Great, whimsical little flying blisters of plague.

@Fab_Mommy_

I’ve had 3 men proclaim their love for me since the Coronavirus hit, so how’s your quarantine going?

@Gupton68

Not to brag, but having travelled extensively through India I could teach you all you need to know about living without toilet paper.

~ me, flirting.

@heyitsJudeD

*At animal group therapy*

Moderator: introduce yourselves please

Fruit bat: I’m a bat that eats fruit …

Honey bear: I’m a bear that eats honey…

Sperm whale: do we have to do this?